A Splintered Soul
by DemonicGleam
Summary: In one moment of surrender, Thor can finally see. Loki is broken, broken and his soul in pieces. Fragments, splinters, like the stars that dot the night sky/ One-Shot, explicit incest warning - Thunderfrost/Thorki


The feasts in the palatial dining room of Asgard were characterized by the sounds of men sucking the fat slicked bones of animals and throaty laughter. Belches filled the room, clinks of mugs and the splash of spilled wine hitting the wooden dining table. Fingers scraping against plates and digging into enormous helpings of meat. Over a hundred men and women sat at the feast - Asgard's finest warriors and most important statesmen all sharing in a mutual celebration. Peace, fought for centuries before and peace all hoped would hold for centuries to come. The chattering of different groups mingled in the air like a battle, voices drowning each other out, trying to rise above the rest. Loki heard it all. He could distinguish between each sound as if he were muting the rest of the room and passing bit by bit through each sonorous wave in the air. Above all he heard his brother's laughter. The catch in his throat before a low internal chuckle shook his chest and then the loud bellow of his joy. It never took much for Thor to let out this signature sound and it hit Loki's ear most unnervingly. It was the one sound he could not silence.

The God of Mischief sat silently at his brother's side listening to this booming sound with a blank face. He could see bits of food fly out over Thor's moist lips and animal fat dribble down his chin. The warriors sitting around them joined in on the laughter and pounded their fists on the table in mirth. Loki quietly reached out and stopped his goblet from tipping over, waiting patiently for the shaking to subside. A large hand struck the upper part of his back, thrusting him froward and sending his goblet out of his grip. The dark liquid spilled out and joined the pool already forming on the table from the mugs that no one had bothered to save from being knocked over.

"Brother, nothing pleases you!" Thor cried out, turning to Loki with a wide open grin. "I shall have you smile by this feast's end."

Loki sat up and turned his head just enough to see his brother's face. Rapturous, bright-eyed Thor, grinning at him as if the sole point of his mirth was Loki and had been Loki the entire time. Loki had often heard that to have the God of Thunder smile upon you in genuine delight was to face the sun. He could not deny that his body warmed in the delighted gaze, but he was hesitant yet to call Thor the sun. Thor's hand came down and his knuckles and fingers disappeared in the size of Thor's palm. Loki felt impossibly tiny. He was bone where his brother was muscle, lean long legs where Thor's were thick and strong and in a single gesture his whole hand could disappear in Thor's massive one. Loki looked up at the thunder God. Thor was all muscle and stupid grins, bright blue eyes and golden hair. His constitution was made up partly of stupidity and partly of a massively benevolent heart. Loki's eyes softened involuntarily in light of Thor's tender gaze.

Thor leaned in by Loki's ear, his nose grazing the fine black hair's of his head. He leaned his forehead against the side of his brother's temple and blew out a puff of air as he chuckled. "Smile for me, brother."

Loki suppressed a shiver from creeping down his spine at hearing Thor's throaty voice in his ear. If he had been merely warmed before he was at risk of being burned at this very moment, but he did not make to move away. Thor's breath smelled of meats and wine, his hair of rose water and his skin like the metal of his armour. As Thor pulled away, Loki shook his head and his lips quirked upward. He would always smile for Thor.

Grinning again, Thor pressed his brother's hand tightly. "Thank you."

Loki turned back to his plate and resumed his dissection of the cacophony around him. Odin was quietly speaking to his wife and at his side sat Thor, blustering loudly about a sparring match he had won over Volstagg the other week. A few seats down on Loki's left side he beheld a group of young warriors. Glancing over at them briefly, Loki set his eyes on the one who's voice rose above the others. Amused at the youth's likeness to his brother, Loki watched him out of the corner of his eye. The other boys around him, or rather men as they had recently been initiated as Asgardian warriors, were riveted upon this figure. Charismatic and loud, he was telling them a tale of adventure, voice rising and dipping as the telling commanded. Loki drifted in and out of that circle's conversation and between Thor's boasting and the youth's, he began to confuse himself as to which conversation he was listening to.

"Perhaps one day you'll even be a match for the prince," an auburn haired young man said.

"I'm not too far off," the yellow haired youth answered. "Thor may be stronger than most but have you ever seen him in his sparring matches? He does not favour any strategy. Runs at you head on like a stubborn bull."

Loki accepted the slight made to him unknowingly by the younger men with grace. After all, it was not the first time Thor had been singularly chosen to be referred to as 'prince' and Loki as 'the prince's brother'. Loki could not decide whether Thor had heard the boy speak. He had noticeably hesitated in conversation and stilled, but only for a moment and without even turning his head.

"Rodrekk, is that not a strategy in itself?"

With a shake of his head, the youth downed his goblet of wine and with a satisfied grin he stuck his finger in his friends face. "No, no, no. Strategy and stupidity are not one and the same. A warrior must know both strength and temperance. He must be clever - which, sadly our prince is not!"

A silent hush fell over Rodrekk's circle and his comrades avoided his gaze, clearing their throats uncomfortably. Loki held back an amused snort and then stiffened. He saw his brother's knuckles go white and turned with a calming word, but before he could speak Thor had grabbed his goblet and thrown it with a flick of his wrist. Loki closed his eyes and sighed as a pained grunt resounded in the room and the recipient of the blow flew from his chair and slid across the floor. Strong and stupid had never been more aptly put.

Curious eyes turned to the groaning figure curling up on the floor to clutch at his bleeding head and then to Odin, who looked from his wife at a large man seated in front of him. "Rodmeer," Odin began, his voice apologetic.

Rodmeer stood up and looked at his son, turning on Thor furiously. "He is just a boy."

"One who should learn how to speak properly of his superiors," Thor said nonchalantly, casting an unimpressed glance at the writhing youth. "If he had -"

"Silence!" Odin bellowed, standing up and pressing his balled fists into the table. "Take your boy to be tended to," he said gently to the respected warrior before him; a man who had followed him into battle countless times and had gained his respect and admiration. "Forgive my son, for apparently he too is a mere boy."

Loki silently watched the scene unfolding before him and found it hard to breathe. The air in the room had become tense, everyone waiting for the All-father's next words. He too looked to Odin in anticipation.

Rodmeer cast a wrathful glare in Thor's direction and then bowed his head to Odin. He walked over to his son and lifted him up, shoving him out of the room. Attendants quickly came to wipe the blood off of the floor.

Odin sat down and neatly brought his hands together, fingers sliding together pensively. "A foolish child should not sit at a table with men."

Thor nodded. "Father, I do not know why you let his son be s-"

"A foolish prince even more so, a child in a man's body," he said with disdain. "You may excuse yourself."

Thor sat back in shock. "Father -"

"You may leave," Odin cut in, eyes staring straight ahead. "Lest you bring further shame upon yourself."

Thor stood up sharply, the legs of his chair scraping across the floor. He pivoted on his heel and in a blur of red as his cape fanned out behind him, he strode out of the room and slammed the doors shut behind him. A thunderclap in silence.

Loki waited until conversation resumed, a quiet chattering that did not rise above a whisper from any side. The empty chair beside him was like a void in the room, a gaping hole every eye was avoiding. Loki turned towards it and bowed his head. "Father, may I be excused?"

Odin acknowledged the question with a jerk of his head. "Go."

Loki bowed respectfully to the assembled company before departing and glided out of the room without making a sound. As he walked down the hallway he wrestled between his sympathy for his brother and his pleasure at Thor's punishment. For all the arrogant Rodrekk had said, there hadn't been much cause to disagree. It was no secret that Thor preferred brute strength over wit. He was impulsive and rash, though Asgardians would call him brave and courageous. Loki was a thousand times more clever than his brother, but a show of strength weighed more in minds of warriors than did intelligence. Mischievous and sly was he, while his brother the spitting image of a warrior son of Asgard. For the thousands of times he would prove himself more capable than his brother at diplomacy and oration, a thousand times would he be looked down upon as the lesser of the two. Loki paused mid step and placed his forehead against the wall. He studied his hand and long fingers, sighing and placing his palm against the cold stone. Even as a child he knew that in his father's eyes as well as the realm's he would always come second to Thor. Loki mouthed an incantation and his hand slipped through the stone, his body disappearing through the wall to reappear in Thor's chambers.

The God of Thunder was pacing the floor, fingers balling into fists and uncurling repeatedly. At the far side of the room by the balcony gaped a glaring hole in the wall. Loki quietly moved towards it, glancing at his brother's reddened knuckles. He passed his hand by the broken stone, his eyes lighting up like emeralds. Pieces of stone flew up from the floor and were replaced and where Loki touched the cracks with his fingers they sealed up. He turned and followed his brother's movement with his eyes. Thor paced in and out of his sight, his boots thumping rhythmically on the floor. "Thor-"

"A child!" Thor roared, turning on Loki with the full force of his rage. "He calls me a child before the most respected warriors of our kingdom!"

Loki's eyebrow arched and he shrugged. "Your actions-"

"Were warranted," Thor seethed. "I did only as the boy deserved."

Clicking his tongue and biting back a laugh, Loki rolled his eyes. "Thor, you behaved pettishly and receive just what _you_ deserve. Reacting to those words like a sniveling child. Father was right to have -" Loki's breath caught as he was struck and he flew back into the wall. The force of the blow left an imprint in the stone and Loki glanced back at the cracked stone with irritation. "And do you not continue to prove the boy right?"

Thor struck his brother with his fist, sending him to the floor with a grunt. He was trembling with rage. "How dare you."

"Your fists do your thinking for you, in that he was correct," Loki spat. "You're a fool."

Thor let out a guttural cry and grabbed his brother by the neck, lifting him up and onto the bed as his fingers tightened around his pale skin. Loki arched in his grip and let out a choked laugh.

"Look at you," he grunted, trying to loosen the hold with his fingers "can't control your own anger, like a temperamental -" he wheezed the last word out and shut his eyes as the pressure on his windpipe closed off his airflow. Loki felt Thor's knee graze his thigh as his brother positioned himself more securely over him. His eyes flew open and he looked down between them, Thor's body hovering just within reach. His eyes bounced up and he saw pure fury in his brother's features; his blue eyes watering, his teeth grinding against each other so that Loki could hear them scraping. He removed his fingers from Thor's hand and snaked a hand around his brother's neck. His fingers slithered into Thor's hair and he cracked a smile before thrusting his hips up into Thor's spread eagle position.

Thor's eyes lit up with shock and then confusion and repulsion and finally lust when Loki lifted his hips a second time. The lust was replaced by bewilderment and he released his brother, moving to climb off of him until the grip in his hair tightened and Loki brought Thor back down, connecting their bodies once more in a heated clash.

Loki let his body drop back onto the bed and his hand fall from Thor's hair as he gasped for air. When Thor did not move and he had sufficiently recovered his breath, he ventured cautiously:"do you know why a clever man can outsmart one who bases his actions on emotion?" He watched Thor's eye's trace the outline of his body with a sly smile. "He knows how to control his anger." Loki licked his lips and glanced down at the bulge straining in Thor's breeches. "Or rather, he knows how to divert it," he said in a low tone.

Thor swayed forward slightly and then back, a low groan caught in his throat. "Loki," he whispered breathlessly.

Loki sat up on his elbows and just barely grazed Thor's lips with the tip of his nose. "Move, brother, either one way or the other," he said lecherously and tilted his chin up, letting his warm breath ghost over Thor's lips. Thor's eyes met his before he was shoved back down, a strong grip on both wrists pinning him to the bed. Not anticipating the action, Loki looked up at Thor curiously, noting the labored breath and taut jaw. The conflicting thoughts of his mind were written plainly on his face and Loki decided to aid him in coming to a decision. He surged forward, straining his neck as far as it would go. Thor's eyes were drawn down to his lips and Loki flicked his tongue out, moistening them. As if fighting against a gravitational pull Thor leaned down in small jerks. Loki calculated his movements perfectly and drew Thor down with him until his body began to descend as well, and when he was close enough Loki closed the distance.

Thor responded immediately, his lips taking control of Loki's hungrily. He moved one knee over Loki's right leg and then the other, placing himself between them before pushing his brother's legs apart. He reached down between them and palmed the bulge in Loki's pants. Retracting his hand, he pulled away and shook his head. "I don't, uh," he paused and swallowed harshly then shut his eyes and shook his head with vigour "my experience -"

Loki leaned up and kissed his brother's chin. "Your experience in this area," he began, taking Thor's hand and bringing it back down between his legs "is well cultivated," he finished, grinning mischievously. He gasped when Thor's fingers applied pressure, alternating between rubbing and squeezing. "I'd even say," Loki hissed, throwing his head back and biting back a groan "you have fairly refined skills."

Thor placed his free hand on his brother's forehead and slid his fingers through Loki's dark hair, pulling his head back and leaning down to suck on his neck. When his chin dug into the top of Loki's chest plate he sat back with a displeased grunt. His fingers made fast work of Loki's formal dress, the clasps of his armor popping open one by one.

Loki leaned forward and back as Thor needed to undress him, meanwhile his fingers were drawing circles and spirals in the air, unfastening the clasps of Thor's armour without physical touch. He worked patiently, letting Thor slide his own armour off until he was in a thin smock.

Thor on the other hand had less patience and was ripping Loki's clothing off without regard for its condition. When he had chucked away two layers of material and reached Loki's undershirt, he tore through it with his fingers. Growling and sitting back, he raked his eyes across Loki's bare chest and placed his hand on his stomach. "Brother," he breathed out shakily, sliding his hand up Loki's chest to his neck.

Loki wrapped his legs around Thor's waist and hoisted himself up and onto his lap, brushing their lips together. He lifted Thor's shirt up and over his head, letting it drop and join the unceremonious heap of clothing on the floor. Thor seemed nearly twice his size as he grazed his biceps with his fingers. Loki had seen his brother's body before, felt it even, but never in such an intimate sense. Nor had his heart ever sped up at the mere touch of his brother's fingers. He turned his lips away when Thor moved to kiss him and offered up his neck instead.

Thor latched onto the offering hungrily, finding the sensitive skin just beneath Loki's ear and nipping at it gently. Loki pressed himself against his brother and moaned into his ear as he rolled his hips. When Thor's fingers violently pressed into his hips he winced and cried out. He carefully took hold of Thor's wrist and brought his hands around to his backside. Thor groaned into his ear and pressed him closer. When he felt the tip of Thor's fingers slipping into the hem of pants Loki leaned back slowly and arched up, letting Thor pull them off in a single movement. He smiled upon hearing Thor suck in a breath. "It is not the first time you lay eyes upon me, brother," Loki teased.

Thor eyes bounced up to Loki's face and back down. He gently touched his fingers to Loki's navel and followed the thin trail of hair that led to his erect shaft. "You are pale," Thor mumbled, ghosting his fingers over Loki's tip. Stunned by his own lust he could only run his fingers up and down Loki's erect length, feeling each shiver wrack his brother's lean frame. He breathed in and out through his mouth, the urge to throw himself upon Loki tempered by the novel sensations he was experiencing.

Loki closed his eyes and the darkness heightened the tingling caused by the brush of Thor's fingers against him. When he could no longer handle the teasing he sat up and smacked Thor's hands away, plunging his hand down his breeches and taking a firm hold of him. "Take them off," he commanded, licking a stripe up Thor's neck and tightening his grip at the base of Thor's cock. He let go and fell back onto the bed, looking up at Thor with a slight grin. He watched eagerly as Thor crawled off the bed and shrugged his pants off. Loki had seen Thor nude before but the sight of his brother fully swollen and with chest heaving made his throat grow taut. It seemed that Thor was double his size in every sense. He flinched when Thor climbed back on top of him, grimacing faintly.

Thor stilled upon seeing his brother's expression and followed his gaze, looking back up and chuckling. "Do I intimidate you?" He leaned down and pressed their chests together, sliding up far enough to place his lips against Loki's ear. He latched onto the lobe of his ear and sucked on it slowly before licking around the helix. "I will be gentle with you, little brother," Thor whispered, condescension shadowing his words.

Loki glared at the side of his brother's head and kicked his knee up into Thor's gut, making use of the momentum as Thor dropped to flip him over, switching their positions. He straddled his brother and bucked his hips, snickering at Thor's reaction. "Perhaps it is I who should be gentle with you," he murmured, pinching one of Thor's nipples between his fingers. "You're quite sensitive," he said as he tweaked the pink bud harder, his whole body rising as Thor arched with a groan. Loki leaned down and blew his breath over Thor's nipple, placing his lips over it and swirling his tongue slowly. He worked on it for a few moments as Thor kneaded his thighs. Thor's knuckles massaged his skin wonderfully, slow and meticulous and then rough and quick. Loki felt himself shift forward as Thor pressed harder into his skin and further and further until his was straddling Thor's chest. He looked down and his eyebrow quirked up. His penis was hovering by Thor's chin and his brother's eye's were struggling between lust and panic. Loki felt like laughing at the plight his brother had put himself in and snorted.

Thor glared up at Loki and avoided resting his eyes on the cause of his hesitancy. A part of him in that moment, as he studied Loki's face, realized that his brother was subtly manipulating him once again. Without breaking eye contact, he curled his fingers around the base of Loki's cock and watched his brother's green eyes disappear in a flutter of dark lashes and his mouth fall open in a silent cry. He pressed his thumb against the head, slick and wet and circled it twice, heat flaring in his loins as he watched his brother's face contort and a flush colour his cheeks. Thor closed his eyes and leaned forward, open-mouthed and willing. Loki tasted bland, a tinge of salt and the taste of his own mouth all combining as he swallowed him further. He heard a gasp and mumbled curse as Loki's knees slid down his shoulders and onto the bed.

Loki was bent over Thor's head on his elbows and knees, facing the balcony doors. He dropped his head down and a strangled moan escaped him. The sight of his brother's lips around him, the warmth enveloping him and burning through his body was enough to make him tremble. A sudden urgency flooded over him, as if some darkness were descending upon him and if he didn't act now he'd lose the moment forever. His heart swelled with feeling, feelings he was used to shutting away and neutralizing, forcing his mind to work until the cold logic had broken every piece of tenderness apart and left behind a skeletal frame, a shattered nothingness because he would rather feel nothing than something - because they've always amounted to the same thing. But now, just now, as Thor's fingers ran up and down his thighs and his tongue caressed the underside of his cock, he was filling up and choking on the flood of emotions and they brought a tear to his eye because they were bathed in gold and it was the sun that held them. Loki pulled himself up and out of Thor's mouth, pressing both hands to Thor's face to look into his eyes. He pressed his body flush against him and kissed him, simply touching their lips together and keeping his eyes open. _Brother. _

Thor's heart froze and he felt as though time itself had stopped. The flow of blood in his veins, the rise and fall of his chest, every thought that crossed his mind froze, for Loki's eyes were watering with tears and thin lips touched his and a tear that was not his own moistened his cheek and he could suddenly see. If Loki had been playing with him before, teasing and pushing, all at once it had become something more. Never had he seen his brother so utterly exposed, every cold mask shed and his skin glowing like a newborn babe, his eyes wide and overwrought with emotion. Complete surrender. He watched in stunned silence as Loki turned away and bowed his head, sinking slowly to lie on his chest though his knees remained bent and his backside lifted in the air. Thor moved as if in a dream, his hands reaching out for Loki's hips as his brother spread his legs, his eyes closed, cheek against the bed sheets. And when he entered him, slow and careful, and his brother bit his lip and the sheets tightened in between his fingers Thor closed his eyes and held back his tears. Loki was tight, like nothing he'd ever felt before. Loki was small and fragile and his grunts mingled with his brother's small cries of pain. He thrust into him harder and with every thrust Loki let out a cry and Thor only wanted more. He hooked his arms around Loki's shoulders and lifted him up so that his chest was pressing into Loki's back and the position allowed him to slide further into his brother's body.

Loki grabbed onto Thor's wrists and tried to use his body as a leverage point. It felt as though he were suspended in time and space, teetering between some unknown edge, his fall imminent. Every time Thor pounded into him he felt like he was being ripped apart. He threw his head back onto Thor's shoulder and tried to match his movements, perhaps ease the pain, but every second his body burned even more with scalding heat, his whole backside scorched by Thor inside of him. He moved his hand down to touch himself but Thor's grip on him prevented his reach and Thor arched them both back. A large hand curled around his cock and pumped him back to an erection, harsh and quick. His thighs slapped against Thor's and the sound erupted in the room in short bursts as Thor fucked him faster, grunting against his neck, chin scratching against his collar bone. Loki's breath hitched and he sucked in one last gulp of air as Thor's release tore through him. He let out a choked scream as Thor clamped onto him to a point of agony, feeling the full force of Thor's strength as his arms were crushed in an iron grip. When Thor finally let him go he fell forward, limp and exhausted, face sliding into the sheets, arms loose at his sides. He breathed in raggedly, aware of the trickle of warmth down his thigh that could have been blood or semen, even both. He was still hard and aching but too tired to even think about reaching down.

Thor sat back and waited for the crystals of light in his eyes to subside, as if the colours of the bifrost had exploded in his mind. When his vision had cleared he made out the curve of Loki's back facing him, quivering and slick with beads of sweat. With a herculean effort he pushed himself forward and covered Loki's body with his own, reaching around his stomach and grabbing a hold of his cock. Silently, he drew his brother to the edge, holding him still with his free hand on the small of his back as he finished him off. A strangled cry that trailed off into a groan sounded into the room as Loki came and Thor held onto him tightly, feeling each shuddering wave through the tips of his fingers like faint currents of electricity. When Loki's body sagged he flipped him over and lay down at his side, arm thrown across his chest. A bony knee insisted upon parting his legs and he allowed it and positioned himself so that Loki could curl into him, smooth cheek against his chest, thin arms around his back. Thor would never admit or give voice to his concerns just then, how in that one glorious moment of surrender he saw how broken his brother truly was, how splintered his soul as it shone through his green eyes. Nor would he ever admit to the crippling fear that consumed him, the fear that he wasn't strong enough to put the fragments back together, that his love wasn't enough to heal him.

Loki breathed in Thor's scent, ignoring the searing numbness of his backside and pressing against his brother for warmth. He felt Thor's lips against his head once and then twice.

"Smile for me, brother," Thor mumbled coarsely, his voice thick and rough. He felt Loki's lips press against his chest and placed his fingers to Loki's jaw, sliding them down to his chin and then clumsily to his lips. He traced the softness of the curve of his lips and sighed, bringing his hand to rest on the back of his brother's neck. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed; he prayed to Odin and all his forefather's, the heroes of legends and of bedtime stories; he prayed to all the men who's blood coursed through his veins and he asked them to give him strength, just enough to mend the cracks of Loki's soul. _Do not let him slip from me. Please._

Loki knew then why they called Thor the sun, why all eyes followed him in a room brimming with people. For every star in the sky and every galaxy burning like a flame in space, the brilliance of Thor's love outmatched them all. In Thor's embrace was the entirety of his soul, pouring out this very brightness into Loki's heart and Loki felt it and accepted it, even as the coldness set in and fought against the glow. Yet more and more of it flooded him and in every breath it flowed and in every touch it burned and something deep within his soul laughed and Loki knew that it would never be enough. They had felt what it was to be one, but would always be two and Loki four and six and broken up into a million little pieces like the stars dotting the sky. Fate had dealt its cards long before this day and the darkness meant for Loki and the light for Thor.


End file.
